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The Worthiness Crisis

Okay, so this topic is bigger than a blog post can contain, but it’s a start. I’m so worried about this problem, I need to start talking about it every place I can. The problem: many people, and most notably young people, feel that their worth is in question. They (or really “we”) feel that worth is tied to things like GPA, salary, position, social class, appearance, romantic success, productivity, cleanliness, organization, keeping up with milestones, how cool you look on Facebook…pretty much everything. It’s always at stake. “Am I good enough?” is the question plaguing so many wonderful, lovely people everywhere. The interesting thing for me is that many people who look like they are succeeding on many of these measures are the ones who feel the worst. I think it’s because when you are acutely aware of what     . . . read more

How Life is NOT Like the Super Bowl

  I like sports well enough, even though I’m not a die-hard fan of any particular team (although I certainly have a Boston loyalty like a lot of Mainers- we used to occupy the same colony, you know). There are a lot of very valuable life lessons that we can learn through sports. I’ve outlined them at times in my blog.  I even dabble in very amateur athletic pursuits myself. However, I would like to point out that there is a very important way in which life is not like sports. In life, there are no clear winners and losers. In other words, life is not a contest in which you must defeat others in order to “win.” There is no scoreboard,  point system, or panel of judges. Sure, there are competitions which utilize these devices, but that’s different than     . . . read more

Why No Is Nice

I often hear stories about people who over-extend themselves. Maybe its making cakes for a school function, loaning money, running errands for a family member, or donating time. People often say yes when that’s not what’s right for them. I believe saying yes when really you need to say no is a big problem. I’m not against generosity, charity, or volunteering. These are good things that you should do as much as possible, but not more than possible. When you try to do something you really can’t, it doesn’t end up with a positive result. (You can see my skill for forming obvious conclusions). Here’s how it plays out: You are asked to do something. You are not truly wanting/able/willing to do this something. But you feel bad so you say that you will. You do the something. It takes     . . . read more

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