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Burnout Blues? You Need The One Skill Everyone Overlooks

Jennifer is just like you and me – a highly competent, compassionate woman with a great career, a family she adores, and a very full life. On the outside, she looks great. You should see her Facebook photos! On the inside, she’s cooked. Beyond done. A bunch of jangled nerves running on sheer will alone. Jennifer’s been chronically stressed out for so long that her physical and mental health are starting to become compromised. She’s about to burn out big time. For checking all those boxes, doing all the right things, it seems all that she gets in return is exhaustion. And she knows it, but she doesn’t know what to do about it. Jennifer has tried to figure out how to manage her time better, how to cope better, how to practice more and better self-care. She’s read the books     . . . read more

Mature Behavior in 10 Easy (okay…actually pretty difficult) Steps

Though I strive to be sensible and balance reason with carefully considered emotions, I have had to put myself in time-out several times recently. My kids drive me nuts because they are children and we are inside together a lot because it’s winter in Maine, and I want to lose my mind. “Those people” on the internet drive me nuts because, in case you have not observed, things are tense out there. It seems like no matter who you are, every emotional button is being pushed in the current climate. Keeping myself under control is not always easy. Perhaps you can relate. I find it facinating how we work so hard to teach our kids to behave appropriately, meanwhile often misbehaving ourselves. My daughter’s school is amazing. They have beautifully explained expectations for how people treat each other- in the classroom,     . . . read more

Can Respectful Disagreement Bring Us Together?

Being a therapist has taught me that to disagree effectively is to build connection and unity. Talking in-depth for thousands of hours with dozens, if not hundreds, of people has had a profound impact on me. I am wiser, stronger, and happier than I would be otherwise, because I have connected with them and seen the world through their eyes. I also feel more clear that everyone makes sense in the context of their lives. Most people are coming from a good place most of the time. People make choices that reflect their life experience, what they were taught, and what they value. These things vary dramatically person to person, naturally. This seems obvious, but we see the world and speak from our own lens. Every single person has perspectives and internal narratives that are distorted, unhelpful, and just plain     . . . read more

Know “NO.” Change Your Life.

What happens when you learn why it’s better to say “no” when that’s the honest answer? What happens when you are clear on how to say “no” effectively? What happens when you have a “no” for all occasions? Participants of the last workshop on the Positive Power of “NO” are the best people to tell you what you gain from learning “NO”:  You will understand how saying a dishonest “yes” robs you of time, energy, and joy. It will give you a specific game plan and new skill set to be able to get your joy and freedom back. You will deeply understand that no IS nice, and saying it clearly and kindly improves relationships. This will give you more confidence in yourself. You will have a whole new language for saying “no” in every situation. These “no’s” are sincere     . . . read more

3 Ways to Repair a Relationship Rut

Feeling a disconnect between you and your partner? Perhaps even seething with anger and frustration toward him/her? You’ve been hurt or misunderstood. Or perhaps you’ve done the hurting or been misunderstanding. Relationships are full of ruptures – moments or experiences of missing each other on an emotional level. Often we feel wounded by the fracture.  “It’s like he doesn’t even know me!”  “She has no idea how much thought I put into this, and all I get is criticism!”   Get the Right Perspective When a rift occurs, the instinct is to fight, dwell, vent and stew- sometimes to friends and sometimes to our partners directly. Often the more we dig in, the more we prolong and deepen the pain. When emotions run high, it can feel that there is no way out. We decide we can only budge if     . . . read more

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