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The Secret Sauce of Burnout Prevention

If you believe there is nothing you can do about your burnout, you are making the problem worse for yourself. Many people throw their hands up when I ask them about their work stress and potential burnout. They say there is nothing to be done. It’s a staffing issue. It’s a systemic problem. It’s not their job, it’s the “other stuff” like interpersonal dynamics workplace culture “the way things are right now” These mindsets are a major contribution to burnout. Last year, the World Health Organization declared that burnout is a health problem. It’s defined by the symptoms of: feelings of energy depletion or exhaustion; increased mental distance from one’s job, or feelings of negativism or cynicism related to one’s job reduced professional efficacy I believe that one core feeling underpins all three of these symptoms clusters: powerlessness. So yes,     . . . read more

Why Women Are Anxious and Frustrated at Work

Here’s the reason no one is talking about If you were an honor student growing up, you might be screwing yourself over at work. Let’s start with a story. Amanda was detail-oriented and highly competent. She did her job reliably well and got along with her colleagues. From the outside she appeared successful. However, she felt chronically frustrated because she often felt dismissed or talked over in meetings. She didn’t feel she was being paid fairly for her work quality. She also felt anxious much of the time and struggled to speak up about these feelings. Deep down she questioned if she deserved the things she wanted. Was she truly good enough? When I met Amanda I told her this: you are stymied by the schoolgirl mindset. Her response was probably the same as yours: What?! Let me explain. My     . . . read more

5 Skills for Confident Communication

Do you often leave interactions feeling like you didn’t make your point? Do you feel misunderstood? Do you feel like people don’t really listen to you? It’s time for you to uplevel your communication skills so that you can confidently engage your audience. Whether at work or in your personal life, satisfying connections, effective conversations, and the ability to appropriately influence others are important skills for your overall well-being. Stop wasting your energy on poor quality interactions and up your communication game with these 5 key skills and go-to action steps. Skill #1: Set the intention Be aware and thoughtful in your interactions. I often hear people complain that they are stuck in the same unproductive or unpleasant conversations with people. This is often because we are not actively working to be intentional in these conversations. Here are 3 action     . . . read more

3 Painless Ways to Start a Difficult Conversation

As a communication coach, I find that the most common way people deal with difficult conversations is to avoid them as long as possible. You already know that this is both painful and highly ineffective. It takes a ton of energy to avoid something. The thoughts and feelings take up valuable real estate in our bodies and minds. And nothing changes. The best thing you can do for your well-being, and to improve every relationship you have, is to go forward and engage in those difficult conversations. Getting these conversations started is often the hardest part. Here are 3 tips to make it a little easier to get words to come out of your mouth. 1. Be gentle, calm, and straightforward The way you start the conversation matters. The mantra you need is this: gentle, calm, straight-forward. Here’s what that     . . . read more

3 Ways to Protect Yourself from Assholery (Without Saying a Word)

They’re everywhere: the people who suck up energy with their negativity. I bet you hear as many stories as I do about the mean and insensitive things these difficult and exhausting people say and do. Now I understand very well that miserable people are that way for a reason. People make sense in the context of their lives. I absolutely have compassion for them, but not their poor behavior. We need to stop their misery from becoming ours. Love the person (but maybe from a distance) and limit exposure to the behavior. One easy way for their misery to become ours is by being sucked in. The worst of it is when you get caught in their web of manipulation and negativity for months or even years on end. Do you hear that sound? That’s the sound of you being     . . . read more