If you feel that COVID-19 is a threat to your mental health as well as your physical health, you are not alone. Your mental health requires real attention. Being intentional about your mental health strategy can help you get through this strange and stressful time. The big changes we are making to help our collective well-being as we confront COVID-19 present new challenges to our mental health. Change, especially on this massive scale, is likely to feel difficult and daunting, manifesting feelings of anxiety, helplessness, and hopelessness.  Certainty, familiarity and a sense of control are elements of our world that maintain a sense of safety and security. Typically, we feel best when these things are in place.  Therefore, it’s natural to feel unsettled during this time of scary news and unprecedented social distancing. This current change is unanticipated and experienced at such     . . . read more

If you believe there is nothing you can do about your burnout, you are making the problem worse for yourself. Many people throw their hands up when I ask them about their work stress and potential burnout. They say there is nothing to be done. It’s a staffing issue. It’s a systemic problem. It’s not their job, it’s the “other stuff” like interpersonal dynamics workplace culture “the way things are right now” These mindsets are a major contribution to burnout. Last year, the World Health Organization declared that burnout is a health problem. It’s defined by the symptoms of: feelings of energy depletion or exhaustion; increased mental distance from one’s job, or feelings of negativism or cynicism related to one’s job reduced professional efficacy I believe that one core feeling underpins all three of these symptoms clusters: powerlessness. So yes,     . . . read more

Many people have heard about EMDR. You may be wondering how does it work? Could it help you? EMDR is a means to assist in recognizing and changing the negative responses that weigh us down and inhibit us from living our most fulfilling lives. EMDR helps to fully process and integrate difficult events in our lives, so that we don’t remain stuck. If you find yourself asking “why does that still bother me?” or find yourself repeating patterns or making choices that no longer serve you—despite your best efforts to change them—it may benefit you to talk to an EMDR trained mental health professional. The role of memory networks Our brain has a natural ability to process and integrate information. However, our ability to process information becomes compromised when under stress. When we are unable to process distressing events, the     . . . read more

It is inevitable in life that you will be faced with situations in which it is essential that you have an uncomfortable conversation. Look, I know that you want to be liked. You care about being seen as cooperative and agreeable. I get that it is a risk to come off as unlikable (especially for women). But we all need to face up to reality. Every aspect of our lives that allow us to thrive are threatened if we don’t accept that sometimes we have uncomfortable communication. Let me say it another way: we can’t have integrity, boundaries, morals, character, thoughts and feelings if we aren’t willing to express them when it’s important to do so. Even if other people don’t like what we are saying. Even if it will be awkward or there will be some feelings involved. These     . . . read more

Wouldn’t it be nice if life was like the movies and relationships were “happily ever after”?  That would be easier, and less work. But the reality is that real relationships in real life come complete with joy and love and mess and responsibility and sometimes pain. Honestly, that’s what makes real relationships amazing. I work with couples who want to have a deeper bond and lasting connection. Relationships are important to me. They’re important to everyone. That’s a biological fact of being human. We are a social species and hard-wired to attach to others. It’s why relationships can produce so much joy and it’s why they can trigger other deep emotional responses as well. Relationships take a lot of work and effort. But we don’t always make relationships a true priority. Why should we bother working on relationships? Because when you     . . . read more