Being a therapist has taught me that to disagree effectively is to build connection and unity. Talking in-depth for thousands of hours with dozens, if not hundreds, of people has had a profound impact on me. I am wiser, stronger, and happier than I would be otherwise, because I have connected with them and seen the world through their eyes. I also feel more clear that everyone makes sense in the context of their lives. Most people are coming from a good place most of the time. People make choices that reflect their life experience, what they were taught, and what they value. These things vary dramatically person to person, naturally. This seems obvious, but we see the world and speak from our own lens. Every single person has perspectives and internal narratives that are distorted, unhelpful, and just plain     . . . read more

When you get to the point of talking money, it means you have successfully navigated most of the way through a process. Perhaps your interview was a hit, and you’ve been offered the job. Or maybe the new client saw your website and wants to work with you. It’s the moment where you get to discuss the details and the dollars. Feel a little nervous just thinking about what your work is worth? Do you struggle to state your price? You are not alone. This topic is fraught with anxiety for even the most competent among us. Here are 5 tips to be Effectively Frank™ about money, so you can set the fear aside and get focused on getting paid what you deserve. Flip It The first thing that needs to happen is to set aside your discomfort and anxiety.     . . . read more

What happens when you learn why it’s better to say “no” when that’s the honest answer? What happens when you are clear on how to say “no” effectively? What happens when you have a “no” for all occasions? Participants of the last workshop on the Positive Power of “NO” are the best people to tell you what you gain from learning “NO”:  You will understand how saying a dishonest “yes” robs you of time, energy, and joy. It will give you a specific game plan and new skill set to be able to get your joy and freedom back. You will deeply understand that no IS nice, and saying it clearly and kindly improves relationships. This will give you more confidence in yourself. You will have a whole new language for saying “no” in every situation. These “no’s” are sincere     . . . read more

Amongst people at dinner parties, networking events, and behind the closed door of my office, I hear, “I don’t want drama. I want honesty. I dislike fakey-fake.” Then invariably I hear this declaration from one of the people I just described, in response to some interpersonal issue they are having: “You know what the problem is? I’m just too nice!”  My response to this statement depends on the audience. If you have the misfortune of being my friend, I drop a (loving) truth bomb on you. Otherwise, I make my point a little more gently and in time. If you’re my blog reader, I’ll tell you like this: No, you are definitely not too nice. You can’t be too nice. What you are actually talking about is being dishonest, cowardly, and part of the problem you say you want to avoid.      . . . read more

I truly could not be more excited to be offering this workshop, The Overwhelm Cure: Using the Positive Power of “No”. It is designed to make a profound and immediate impact on managing stress and increasing joy by knowing how, when, and why to say “no” (while still being kind). Here are the details:  The Overwhelm Cure: Using the Positive Power of “No” Tuesday, May 24th from 5:30-8:30pm 203 Anderson Street, Portland Feeling overwhelmed by trying to do it all? Wishing there were more hours in your day? Checking all the boxes and still feeling unfulfilled? It’s time to find your confidence by saying “no” without apology.  Don’t wait another day to create time for things that truly matter.   This workshop is right for you if: You say “yes” to things that bog you down and end up feeling resentful.     . . . read more