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Motivation and Change: What You Don’t Know Can’t Help You

Understanding what motivates us is incredibly rich and useful information. Unfortunately, most of us are totally clueless about how motivation works. We think we know, but we don’t. This week, I’m featuring a series that is intended to help you better understand motivation so that you can apply it to your life. Change is not just about doing. It’s fueled by an internal process. Thoughts and feelings are as essential to the change process as action. If you focus on what you are doing, but not the thoughts and feelings, it’s a set-up. You can’t truly be successful. If you want to be motivated, you need a strategy. It has to be intentional. Motivation is not an accident. The most common myth is that you wait for motivation to strike you. You will be waiting a very long time. This     . . . read more

The Seasons are Changing. How about you?

Welcome to fall! It’s probably my favorite season. Cool nights and warm days. Autumn colors and yummy flavors. But that’s not what this post is about…it’s about making some changes! This fall, I’m over at CrossFit 321 with a series on Strategies for Sustained Success. It’s all about the crucial psychological aspects of making lasting life changes. I’m discussing motivation, the psychology behind food and exercise choices, ways to maintain progress and how to bounce-back from inevitable setbacks. Making some changes of your own? I’m going to be featuring all the topics covered in my Strategies for Sustained Success series right here on the blog. Up first is a full week of posts on change and motivation starting on Monday. Have a question you want answered? Write me at [email protected] and I’ll be sure to include the info (without your     . . . read more

Overreactions

Know what’s really cute and hilarious? That Reasons My Son Is Crying blog. When kids’ overreact, it can be quite adorable, given it’s not your kid and that you are only subjected to a still photo and not the live version. You know what’s neither cute nor hilarious? When a full grown person yells and swears and gives you the finger because they were inconvenienced that you slowed them down by (god forbid) driving the speed limit. In my estimation, the age where overreactions of any kind are no longer cute is about 2.75 years. If you are older than that, please keep reading. If you are not, you are a very smart young person with a bright future. Overreactions aren’t pretty, and yet they happen repeatedly. Why? Because overreactions are always about something else, not the situation at hand.     . . . read more

Emotions are Information

Being a truly well and self-satisfied individual rests on the ability to understand the information that emotions give you and to be able to skillfully utilize and respond to the information. Unfortunately, most of us are struggling with our emotions. I think this is because emotions have been vilified in our culture. Often clients come in asking to get rid of feelings or to “manage” them. This isn’t wrong or bad necessarily, but it represents the type of relationship we we have with our emotions: we see them as a nuisance, something that “gets in the way” of our lives. They are to be controlled or eliminated. This is an unhelpful stance. Emotions are not negative or extraneous, but rather an important aspect of being human. Emotions give us information that is impossible to perceive in any other way. However,     . . . read more

Becoming Self-Assured: It’s Helpful, Not Selfish

Being self-assured yields kindness and contentment. This is contrary to what most of us were taught, and yet I’m increasingly sure that it is true. This is why, in my recent post about being self-assured, I questioned the Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary about words “related” to self-assured: vain, egotistical, pompous. In my mind, being self-assured means being on one’s own team, with a commitment to working on the skills and internal resources that help us through new challenges. It means having trust in one’s own ability to show up and figure it out regardless of what life throws our way. I think there is a real problem when we equate working on things like positive self-talk, emotional regulation, wellness, and self-care with being “vain” “egotistical” and “selfish.” I hear this quite frequently in my office. Many really nice people think it’s     . . . read more