Do you hold yourself to high standards? Do you value quality work and good follow through from others? Do you expect the same of yourself? I can relate. I spent much of my life through early adulthood gripping white knuckled to these values. What were supposed to be...
Do You Need to Be Right?
The motivation is clear: it can feel so good, so powerful to be "right." But is it really worth it? What do you gain? The truth is: you can pursue being right but at the cost of being unhappy. Basically, if you approach conversations, dialogue, or arguments with the...
5 Ways Speaking Up Makes Our Lives Better
Yesterday I had the opportunity to co-facilitate a discussion on the theme “Dare to Speak Up and Be Heard” with the organization, Women Standing Together. It was a great group of interesting, competent, accomplished women. Still, most agreed on one thing: it’s too...
Common Ways Women Undermine Their Words
"I'm sorry, Mom. These muffins are really messy," said my 3-year-old daughter a few mornings ago. It was clear she wasn't apologizing for making a mess. She was really saying, "I hate to tell you this, but these muffins you made crumble really easily." My daughter...
Speak Up and (Actually) Be Heard: Effectively Frank™ Fall Offerings
The ability to communicate clearly and effectively is one of the most powerful tools we have to improve our lives. Skilled communication enhances relationships, reduces stress, and leads to better results at work. I’m passionate about teaching people how to find the...
Mind Your Own Business, For Your Own Sake
I spend a lot of my day encouraging people to bravely and effectively speak their truths, which makes it a little weird to have this post devoted to the following message: There are lots of times when you should really shut up. I believe our words, time, emotions, and...
What Could You Gain by Becoming Effectively Frank™?
What if you had the ability to say with clarity, kindness, and confidence the things you really need to say? How would your life be different? How much easier would it be? How much time, energy, and frustration would be saved? I believe that we can all do better with...
Attention Perfectionists: Please Stop
I hear it announced all the time. It’s slightly boasting, but safely under the guise of being an admission: I am a perfectionist. Listen up, self-professed perfectionist. I say this out of love and concern: You need to reconsider your stance. It will not go well for...
Your Time, Your Priorities
It’s a very simple truth: how you spend your minutes, hours, days, and weeks is how you spend your life. As I was avoiding writing today, I decided to get lost in the internet, then eat something even though I wasn’t hungry, and finally ask myself, what am I doing?...