I looked up at the bar, but I knew I couldn’t do any more. I had reached muscle failure. I looked at my coach, feeling defeated, and said, “I’m done.” She looked at me warmly and said, “Okay.” As I caught my breath, I thought about how I didn’t make it through the...
The Hidden Dangers of People-Pleasing
I know how this is going to sound. But I’m going to say it anyway. Be careful of being nice. The problem is that we do "nice" in ways that are actually detrimental. The misconceptions about how to be nice are the key issues. One of the main problems is that a lot of...
5 Tips to Get You Through the Inevitable New Mom Identity Crisis
This week I'm over at What to Expect talking about pregnancy, motherhood, and identity. Find out about the surprising moment of panic that led me to discover how to overcome the new mom identity crisis... (click here to link to the post). It was great to be featured...
The Haters
This week I got unusually fed up. I even ranted on Facebook, which was truly a first for me. All the hatin' was starting to get old. My breaking point appears to be when people have strong angry reactions to seemingly non-controversial subjects. I started getting...
Not Saying Has Consequences
I’ve come to believe that not saying anything is the most over-used communication strategy in couples. It’s not a bad strategy when used appropriately. For example, there are many things you might choose not to talk about because they are minor and would offend for no...
Curiosity and Relationships
Note from Hannah: This is a guest post by Portland therapist, Bonnie Dunn, LCSW. It's part of the New Perspectives series where writers give us their take on emotional wellness and the human experience. In honor of July 4th, Hannah did a post about Freedom. Her last...
Assertiveness
Assertiveness is... caring about a situation, cause, one’s self, or a relationship enough to speak or take action when needed. preserving one’s integrity, duty, connection, or worth. well-intentioned words or actions for the benefit of truth, justice, fairness,...
New Perspectives Make a Difference
Recently I heard a talk radio program where the host said (in reference to what, I cannot remember), "This is not like psychotherapy where they are trying to fix you..." I couldn't hear the rest because I was in total shock. I knew this point of view existed, but I...
Holding Shadows: Forgiveness and Acceptance of the Past
I'm pleased to offer this piece by guest writer, James Day Leavitt. (photo credit: Siobhán Butler) I imagine my past as a long hallway, with doors along each side of the corridor. Behind some doors are my difficult experiences. Things I don’t want to see anymore. ...