The motivation is clear: it can feel so good, so powerful to be "right." But is it really worth it? What do you gain? The truth is: you can pursue being right but at the cost of being unhappy. Basically, if you approach conversations, dialogue, or arguments with the...
5 Ways Speaking Up Makes Our Lives Better
Yesterday I had the opportunity to co-facilitate a discussion on the theme “Dare to Speak Up and Be Heard” with the organization, Women Standing Together. It was a great group of interesting, competent, accomplished women. Still, most agreed on one thing: it’s too...
Speak Up and (Actually) Be Heard: Effectively Frank™ Fall Offerings
The ability to communicate clearly and effectively is one of the most powerful tools we have to improve our lives. Skilled communication enhances relationships, reduces stress, and leads to better results at work. I’m passionate about teaching people how to find the...
Mind Your Own Business, For Your Own Sake
I spend a lot of my day encouraging people to bravely and effectively speak their truths, which makes it a little weird to have this post devoted to the following message: There are lots of times when you should really shut up. I believe our words, time, emotions, and...
What Could You Gain by Becoming Effectively Frank™?
What if you had the ability to say with clarity, kindness, and confidence the things you really need to say? How would your life be different? How much easier would it be? How much time, energy, and frustration would be saved? I believe that we can all do better with...
Parenting: Are You a Fixer or a Guide?
It seems to me that well-meaning parents lean towards one of two strategies (but often do both): being a fixer or being a guide. Neither is wrong. Like I said, these are what caring parents do. The trick is getting the right ratio of guiding to fixing, and knowing the...
The Hidden Dangers of People-Pleasing
I know how this is going to sound. But I’m going to say it anyway. Be careful of being nice. The problem is that we do "nice" in ways that are actually detrimental. The misconceptions about how to be nice are the key issues. One of the main problems is that a lot of...
What it Takes to Stay Together
Note from Hannah: This is a long one. But hey, it's about long-term relationships. It's a summary of what I've learned in an ever-growing number of years of life and professional experience. Hope you can commit to reading it... Relationships are complicated, that’s...
Not Saying Has Consequences
I’ve come to believe that not saying anything is the most over-used communication strategy in couples. It’s not a bad strategy when used appropriately. For example, there are many things you might choose not to talk about because they are minor and would offend for no...