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Letting Go of Outcomes

Letting Go of Outcomes

I've learned, mostly the hard way, that I don't know what the best outcome is for another person. That probably sounds weird for a therapist to say. There is a general sense that you go to therapy for someone to tell or "guide" you to a particular outcome. But that's...

Very Curious

Very Curious

I know the saying about the cat, but really I'm interested in who killed curiosity. I could probably blame standardized testing or the ability to know all instantly with the internet. Regardless of the suspect(s), I would like to advocate for regaining some respect...

(Not So) Great Expectations

(Not So) Great Expectations

I was invited to do my very first guest post on the fabulous another jennifer blog. Here it is: My daughter is a young toddler now. On a recent family outing around town, she decided to keep in her hand, through a few stores and the intervening car rides, an oversized...

Down with Deprivation

Down with Deprivation

I will admit, as I am often forced to do (particularly when confronted with pop culture references), that I shelter myself a bit. The truth is that I can easily lose my footing and own sense of self when I consume too much media. It is hard to distinguish what I want...

I Do What I Say, And I Say What I Mean…As Much As Possible

I Do What I Say, And I Say What I Mean…As Much As Possible

In a memorable moment in graduate school, my professor said, "A good social worker needs to walk the walk, not just talk the talk." I knew instantly that it was true. It is helpful and necessary in my job to say things, make suggestions, offer observations, provide...

Feelings About Feelings

Feelings About Feelings

As a therapist, I find that the cause of many mental health issues is not the emotion one naturally feels about an event or situation, it is the reaction to this initial or primary emotion. Often for people experiencing panic, it is the fear or embarrassment of having...

Mistakes and How We Respond to Them

Mistakes and How We Respond to Them

In elementary school, our art teacher would coax us into making some unintended dribble or scribble into a "happy mistake." I was not receptive. I would rather have started over so that I might have some pristine piece of art when I was done. A quarter of a century...

The Worthiness Crisis

The Worthiness Crisis

Okay, so this topic is bigger than a blog post can contain, but it's a start. I'm so worried about this problem, I need to start talking about it every place I can. The problem: many people, and most notably young people, feel that their worth is in question. They (or...

Taking the Fear Out of Change

Taking the Fear Out of Change

Some of you might know that I'm really into helping my clients make changes. But I am also very aware that change can feel scary and overwhelming. If you are torn between wanting to make changes, but feeling like it's just too big of a job, you are not alone. I often...