strategies
Do You Need to Be Right?

Do You Need to Be Right?

The motivation is clear: it can feel so good, so powerful to be "right." But is it really worth it? What do you gain? The truth is: you can pursue being right but at the cost of being unhappy. Basically, if you approach conversations, dialogue, or arguments with the...

Waiting for the Right Time?

Waiting for the Right Time?

I stopped blogging a few months ago to pursue what turned out to be a fairly involved personal project: baby #2. She arrived just before Thanksgiving and has brought a joyful chaos with her. I started wanting to write again a few weeks back, but there was always stuff...

5 Ways Speaking Up Makes Our Lives Better

5 Ways Speaking Up Makes Our Lives Better

Yesterday I had the opportunity to co-facilitate a discussion on the theme “Dare to Speak Up and Be Heard” with the organization, Women Standing Together. It was a great group of interesting, competent, accomplished women. Still, most agreed on one thing: it’s too...

Common Ways Women Undermine Their Words

Common Ways Women Undermine Their Words

"I'm sorry, Mom. These muffins are really messy," said my 3-year-old daughter a few mornings ago. It was clear she wasn't apologizing for making a mess. She was really saying, "I hate to tell you this, but these muffins you made crumble really easily." My daughter...

Excuses, Excuses: What Gets in the Way of Attending to Your Health?

Excuses, Excuses: What Gets in the Way of Attending to Your Health?

Yesterday I wrote about what I think it means to be truly healthy. I know this kind of discussion easily lends itself to excuses and talk of how hard it is. I get it, on some level, but I really want you to be healthy. It’s too important. So humor me and read why I...

Are You Healthy? How Do You Know?

Are You Healthy? How Do You Know?

Everything we do and experience involves our body. Physical and mental health are not separate things. Emotions and thoughts are physiological experiences, as much as any body process. The way we eat, move our bodies, use our minds, and experience the world are all...

When You Feel Powerless

When You Feel Powerless

Powerless. Helpless. Stuck. These are some of the very worst, most unpleasant ways to feel. Too often people experiencing these emotions are hesitant to get counseling, or even talk with friends, because they feel it will “do nothing.” This is based on the belief that...

What Could You Gain by Becoming Effectively Frank™?

What Could You Gain by Becoming Effectively Frank™?

What if you had the ability to say with clarity, kindness, and confidence the things you really need to say? How would your life be different? How much easier would it be? How much time, energy, and frustration would be saved? I believe that we can all do better with...